When I first became a teacher, I thought the classroom was sacred. It was a special space where learning transformed lives. But there was a time when my classroom turned into something else entirely. The desks, the chalk, the laughter, all drowned out by shouting, anger, and fear. Students were hitting teachers. Teachers were hitting students. Students bullied each other while everyone tried to raise test scores.

And me? I was trying to hold it all together.

I went to the administration for help, hoping someone would say, “We see you. We’ll fix this.” Instead, I discovered something even darker. The principal, the person responsible for protecting students, was part of the violence as well. What a mess.

The pressure broke my heart. The stress was unbearable. The straw broke when a student who threatened to hurt me brought a weapon to school. I walked away not just from a job, but from a dream. 

For years, I carried the weight of anger, disappointment, and disbelief. I replayed moments in my head: the screams, the fights, the betrayal. It took time to realize that I wasn’t walking away from my purpose—I was walking toward it.

Leaving the classroom made space for what came next: entrepreneurship, academic therapy, and healing. I didn’t know it then, but God was redirecting my steps. My future wasn’t in that building. My calling was bigger than four walls.

Forgiveness IQ

I once took a “forgiveness IQ test.” It’s a self-assessment that estimates a person’s tendency to forgive, measuring their willingness to let go of negative emotions and how this may affect their mental and emotional health.

My score? Moderate forgiveness competency. Translation: I have some work to do.

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event. It’s a process, a deeply personal choice that doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing, or denying the pain. It’s learning to see through God’s eyes, to release what’s heavy, and to move forward free.

Elements of Forgiveness

• Acknowledgment: I had to face the truth of what happened—the violence, the betrayal, the trauma. Pretending it wasn’t real only delayed my healing.
• Empathy: This one hurt. Seeing the pain behind their actions took courage. People who harm others are often broken themselves.
• Choice: I chose to let go. Not because they deserved it, but because I did.
• Commitment: Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It’s a daily decision. Some days are easier than others.

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When I hear Lauryn Hill sing “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do,” I think of Jesus’ words in Luke 23:34 (NKJV):

“Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”

That verse doesn’t erase what happened. It transforms it. It’s not about pretending the pain never existed. It’s about trusting that God can turn even the ugliest moments into purpose.

So yes, I forgive them all—the students, the teachers, the principal. Because that painful chapter wasn’t the end of my story. It was the beginning of EdieLovesMath.

🎵 Forgive Them Father – Lauryn Hill
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What situation or person still weighs on your heart? Name it. Say it out loud. Healing starts with acknowledgment.

Copyright © 2025 by Edna Brown. All Rights Reserved.