There is a quiet moment, often inconvenient, when you realize you’re holding yourself to a standard no human can meet. For years, perfectionism was my silent companion. As an academic therapist, a coach, and a lifelong advocate for neurodivergent learners, I thought being “perfect” meant being prepared for every question, anticipating every need, and never slipping because someone depended on me.

But truthfully? Perfectionism doesn’t serve neurodivergent people. It suffocates us. And 2025 is the year I’m putting down that weight.

The Moment I Finally Let Go

One afternoon, I found myself rewriting the same sentence again and again because it didn’t feel right. Classic Neurodivergent paralysis: too many drafts, too many directions, and too much pressure to get it “exactly right.”

I stopped.

Closed my laptop.
And breathed.

A scripture rose to the surface:

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on…” — Philippians 3:12 (NIV)

Paul wasn’t striving for perfection. He was striving for progress, for movement, for alignment with purpose. That verse became my release valve.

A Slogan That Speaks to Neurodivergent Journeys

In Al-Anon, the slogan is:

“Progress, Not Perfection.”

It’s a reminder that speaks deeply to every autistic and ADHD thinker I’ve ever taught or coached. Because perfectionism acts differently in neurodivergent brains:

• Autistic rigidity can make “perfect” feel like the only safe option.
• ADHD executive functioning can make the idea of perfection so overwhelming that nothing gets done.
• Dyscalculia or dyslexia can turn small mistakes into emotional spirals.
• Masking makes people feel like they must perform flawlessly to belong.

Neurodivergent people aren’t just avoiding imperfection. They’re often trying to avoid rejection, misunderstanding, or shame. That’s why this slogan matters so much.

How it applies to neurodivergent lives:

• Embracing imperfections: Accepting that differences aren’t defects.
• Focusing on growth: Celebrating each step, even when invisible from the outside.
• Letting go of control: Allowing flexibility without fear of being misunderstood.
• Self-forgiveness: Rewriting the internal scripts built from years of criticism.

Perfectionism is a heavy burden. But neurodivergent people often carry it twice: once for themselves, once for the world watching.

Hip-Hop Theology: Why “We gon’ be alright” Hits Different

Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright” has always spoken to resilience, community, and survival. But for the neurodivergent community, its message carries another truth:

You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of belonging.

For autistic teens trying to unmask,
for ADHD adults rebuilding routines,
for parents overwhelmed by trying to “get it right,”
for students terrified of mistakes—

that chorus becomes a grounding breath:

“We gon’ be alright.”

It’s a promise that healing doesn’t require flawless days. Just honest ones.

My Word of the Year: Self-Acceptance

I chose self-acceptance because I realized that perfectionism had become a subtle form of self-rejection. Neurodivergent adults especially learn early to fix, hide, or compensate. But self-acceptance teaches us to honor the way our brains actually work.

To rest when needed.
To pause without shame.
To try again without fear.
To be loved without performing.

What Progress Looks Like (Imperfectly)

• Publishing posts without 12 rounds of edits.
• Letting my natural processing style be enough.
• Building routines that fit my brain, not a fantasy brain.
• Accepting sensory needs instead of explaining them away.
• Celebrating small wins, like stopping when I realize I’m overwhelmed.

Progress is quiet.
Progress is human.
Progress is holy.

And progress is enough.

To My Readers: You Are Not Behind

If you are autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, twice-exceptional, or simply someone who has been told “try harder” your whole life…

Let this truth reach you:

You don’t need a perfect day to be proud of yourself.
You don’t need a perfect family to have a healing home.
You don’t need a perfect plan to move forward.

Just press on.
Just take the next step.
Just trust that even when the path feels crooked,
we gon’ be alright.

❓ A Question to Ponder:

Where in your life can you release the pressure to be perfect and replace it with one small act of progress?

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Watch: “Alright” by Kendrick Lamar (Adult Language)
https://youtu.be/Z-48u_uWMHY?si=9rt6qm_FpSz2W0nP

Copyright © 2025 by Edna Brown. All Rights Reserved.